Elohim, why do I struggle to rest in you? Why do I flee from Your intimacy? Settle on me, sink into my very depths, Ruach Ha-Kodesh, until you are all that is left. Let nothing that is not of You remain. O, Abba, give me more of you, let me know you more deeply, let my heart long for the things you long for and let my heart ache for the things that make your heart ache. Let me know Your joy and your tears; let them be mine! Draw me close in all ways… Yeshua, help me to rest in the hope and comfort you bring to us through your life, death and resurrection. Let peace be my natural state and compassion my disposition. By Your grace may I become a reflection of you to all I encounter. Seal my lips and guard my thoughts from words that wound and curse. Yeshua, use me to fulfill your word, that we would do greater things than you. Help me to always honor and point to my God, in word and deed, as you did when you commanded Lazarus to abandon death for life. O Lord, how faithful and good you are. Amen.
I prayed earlier this evening, and in a moment of just saying what was on my heart, I said, “God, oh that you would know my name, that I would know you more deeply. Abba… I hear your reassurances but my heart is uneasy. Please comfort me…”
And then it slipped away from me as I dove into my schoolwork. As I took a break, I was scrolling through instagram and a post from @shereadstruth hits me:
And as I read it, it felt as if God were talking to me, and I felt comforted. Some might call this coincidence, but I find encouragement in the hope that God hears the prayers of my heart and answers them.
Oh the weary and the broken,
the sad, the mourning, the lost
whose heart aches for rest and wholeness.
Oh Lord, make your presence tangible,
show us your tears, Abba,
let us hear you weep with us.
Open our hearts, eyes and ears
Reveal Your steadfast love and
proclaim your faithfulness to us
that we might be reminded
that you are not a God of the past
but the God of forever.
That you move in the present,
and you have plans for our future.
Remind us that You claim us
as your adopted children.
Remind us that you are in the here and now
in the spaces of our relationships
in the acts of love, kindness, grace, hope, and forgiveness.
Call to mind that we are Your dwelling place.
We are a faithless people,
quick to forget Your heart and sacrifice.
We act as disobedient children.
Correct us in love so we might not forget
You are Creator of all.
You are the Intercessor, the Guide and the Seal.
You are Sophia, bringing us your Truth and Wisdom.
You are the shepherd whose voice is known to his sheep.
You are our Savior and Redeemer, using all things for your good,
for your glory and your Kingdom.
You are light and love,
the source of all good and wonderful things.
To You we give thanks that we are part of your story,
constantly in the process of being saved by you.
King and Counselor, Corrector and Comforter, Judge and Advocate,
you are all things to your people.
Oh my God, how good you are.
Abba, Father, Creator of all that has been and will be, how great and holy are You? I praise You that in the midst of all creation, You pursue so faithfully a relationship with us, Lord. You are all good and Your Kingdom is a Kingdom filled to the brim with the fruit of that goodness; our separateness is the fruit of our disobedience, not proof of your faithlessness. I pray you help me and my community to become more of a reflection of You, and that we bear fruit as you would have us do. You answer my prayers over and over again, Abba, and You provide for me in all ways and I give thanks for it. When disbelief in this creeps in, I pray you protect me from it. Remind me of Your steadfastness so that I can be more steadfast in my love to You. Help me to receive, Abba. Amen.
My only God, Creator of all that is and will ever be, you wrap me in your love, you fill me with your Spirit, you pull me under your wing and give me comfort. When my eyes are open to my poverty, in your time you give me abundance. You are present when I seek you fully and your grace has shown no limits. I give thanks for the God you are, of both grace and justice, choice and presence. Continue to transform my heart so it is more like yours, so that I give freely what I have been given. Praise The Lord our God, amen.