Lazarus and Liberty

I think of You when you wept for Lazarus.

I wonder if You wept, too, for yourself.

The cost of resurrection would be Your death. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said that what costs God much cannot be treated cheaply by us.

I am humbled. I am brought low. I am grateful. But I find myself upset, not at You but at me. That the I which I once was is now the barrier which must necessarily be removed.

I feel as if some of my past sin continues to limit my present sanctification. And if it is so… You are justified in doing that. It took your people decades to learn to live imperfectly at Liberty; a lesson I must learn as well.

So maybe it is okay for me to feel as if I am in the Valley of Darkness, a valley shaped by my sin. You tell me that you will lead me through it as my shepherd. And You went ahead of me-through Death and back into Life so I can walk confidently on the path you established.