I recently spoke to a group of teens on rejection. Although this isn’t my actually teaching, it is my presentation. I just thought I’d throw it on here. I talked about what rejection does to us, how it influenced me as I was growing up and how CHANGING my relationship with where I look for love and acceptance changed how I experienced and responded to rejection.
Lastly, I talked about how we can sometimes focus on what appears to be missing rather than the abundance we are given. I went on this crazy back and forth, across-the-globe adventure in August and September. While being single can be hard, and I can choose to focus on how it seems like God isn’t showing up in that space, I wouldn’t have been able to go to all those amazing places and do all those amazing things if I was married with kids.
And here is where I realized: God isn’t saying NO and He isn’t absent; He’s just saying, “Not yet.” God isn’t rejecting me, He’s preparing me. God isn’t telling me I’m not enough, He’s giving me more than I could fathom. God isn’t holding out on me, He’s lifting me up. He’s reaching down and pulling me out of the water. He isn’t saying he doesn’t trust me, He’s asking for me to trust Him.
I gave an example of focusing on lack rather than abundance by talking about how I thought I was SACRIFICING by taking the role I’m in now; that I would have to give up on adventure and travel because of the change in my pay. But God doesn’t operate the way we do and he doesn’t respond in the ways we would think to. Which is why I somehow went to more countries in ONE MONTH than most people do in their LIFETIMES. God gave me abundance where I expected lack and poverty; rejection could have obscured my vision and prevented me from recognizing this. It’s only because I seek love and acceptance from the right places that this lie didn’t take root in me.
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For a Brave Sparrow 
Did you happen to mention that consistent rejection decreases self-esteem to the point where you lack the ability to see yourself as worth anything at all? Because for me, rejection just reminds me how far behind I am. How everyone else long ago got married and had kids, and then playing the comparison game just makes me feel even worse. Add to that issues with the church saying I have to measure up or God won’t marry me off. So I’m not sure I could even look to God right now.
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Yes, I certainly talked about how comparison contributes to our unhappiness. I could compare myself to someone who is married with kids and feel like I don’t measure up. But some of those married people with kids might be looking at all the travel (and sleep) I get and feel like they are missing out. Comparison means you feel the need to measure yourself against others instead of yourself; it’s a losing game. I will say… I don’t feel like the Bible says we earn our ways to spouses, but certainly churches might promote their own points of view. Paul thought singleness was a great idea, and Jesus rolled around with his bros instead of a wife, so I think seeing a spouse as a “reward” God gives us might miss a major point of the gospel?
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In my church, marriage seems to be more like a requirement than a reward. Like it is in the game of Life, you can’t go any further beyond this point as a single individual.
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I know this is a few years later in reply, but I completely agree. Singleness (for women) does not feel nearly as valued by the modern church as it was by the early church.
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