I dreamt I was back with my ex. He was being funny, kind and thoughtful! He kept reminding me to not forget it was only for our road trip.

With that, we were in this convertible/jeep type vehicle rolling down the highway. A bunch of our guy friends were there with us and we were having the best time crossing the country. Shenanigans at gas stations, stops at arcades, singing at the top of our lungs to classic rock. But in the midst of the joy and laughter, suddenly everything would get quiet and he’d lean in with a serious face and quietly whisper, “Don’t forget, it’s just for this journey.” And then the noise would return, he’d be smiling at me and it was like nobody saw.

As we drew close to the other coast, I began to get anxious. What exactly was ending with this journey?


I had a dream I was at this huge camp-like place, except it was in a massive and ornate building surrounded by nature. It was somewhere every person had to go at some point in their lives. I had some friends there but they weren’t acting like friends and I couldn’t understand why.

Dark things lurked all over the place, attacking people, but they didn’t seem to realize it. It even took a couple lives and people mistook them as accidents. The greatest amount of evil was in the large lake, and everyone had to go in and go under the water at some point.

I was in the bathroom with my roommate when the administrator found me and told me I had to go in. That they had ways of dealing with people like me. She pulled out a swimsuit and told me to put in on. I fought. Then my sister arrived, utterly pale, dripping with water. “What’s your problem?” She continued in a monotone voice, “I went in and I’m here. Put the swimsuit on. You have to.”

I was terrified at how altered my sister was and outraged at the same time. “I’m not afraid, I am aware! This is unbelievable! Why do you do this? I don’t seek approval from anyone here! My identity doesn’t come out of this place or whether or not I get in a damn lake.”

An entire group of girls and women filed into the bathroom at that point, dripping on the floor. I could see the light in them was gone. They dripped with this dislike of the “other.” What I had become. An outsider. My sister stood with them. And so I ran.