I really feel like lately God’s been emphasizing a few things in my life right now:
- Be vulnerable. (Ouch… this is a hard one. I know how that used to end for me…)
- Trust in me. (It’s not a testimony to God’s power if I do all the work, right?)
- Go to your community. (What does that even mean?)
So I’m doing my best to do only what I really feel I should do right now and leave space for God to show up. I’m attempting to be more open and vulnerable with my close community, and invested in those around me. The depression that had settled over me lately (for the first time in years) has lifted and I am very relieved. It is not surprising with EVERYTHING in my life changing that I would have such a reaction, but I did find it comforting. Up until a couple years ago I was medicated regularly, and the antidepressants were adjusted for everyday things. Now I can undergo major life changes all at the same time without medication thanks to the support of my community and being deeply rooted in my faith as it says in the verse below (although this is not to say this would be everyone’s experience, just where God is showing up in mine).
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7
Much of this deep rooting comes from a deepening in my prayer life. I was heading into a pre-interview or interview type of meeting and planned extra time and so I prayed beforehand. Occasionally I write them down, as I did this one:
Abba, I praise Your name because it is good. You made me without mistake and pursue me when I abandon You. Your faithfulness is without measure, Lord. You took me halfway around the world to show me you were always there and are always good. My love for You overflows from my heart but it doesn’t compare to Your love for me. My life is a testimony to the power You have to not just restore broken things but transform them. I’m following You to where You call me. Lead me, Father. Your Will be done. Amen.
And I didn’t hear back about a follow-up, but I did hear back about sharing my story with my church. In reflection, my prayer does seemed to be very focused on sharing God’s testimony and less about procuring me a job… haha… The good news is God knows what I need and so even if I missed the mark on my prayer, I’m sure God has this covered.
And when you pray, do not babble on like pagans, for they think that by their many words they will be heard. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. Matthew 6:6-7